My name is Ebony K. English, 32 and I am from Columbia, SC. I want to submit my story detailing my journey from Alcohol Dependency to shine light on Recovery and to empower women to make Peace with their pieces, own their truths and begin to live as their best life unapologetically!
One would think that it was when I went to counseling, or the many times my grandmother has begged me not to drink and drive, or when I blew my tires out (driving drunk) or when my aunt begged me to get help, or the many times I've blacked out, and woke up in places not having a clue how I got there, or the countless times I've driven under the influence...putting my life and others lives in danger, or going to work or school drunk... Or sharing my body with men while being under the influence of alcohol. While they are all good reasons to stop drinking unfortunately none of them were good enough for me to give up the very thing that provided numbness to all of the hurt, pain, bitterness, anger and hate that I harbored in my heart for majority of my life!! I was completely comfortable in my dysfunction and alcohol dependency for 12 years... There was no talking me out of it... Although it's true the enemy does come to kill, steal and destroy however, he is in no rush to do it and sadly little by little over the years I had been mentally reduced to believed that I was my best self while under the influence of alcohol and I wanted to be my "best self" so I continued to drink.
At least until I woke up on January 24th 2015 and my then 7 year old son was standing beside my bed crying, and when he could finally get his words together he asked "mommy were you sick last night" I said "no baby why" before he could answer I got out of bed to comfort him but not before stepping on the floor into my own vomit... Of course this wasn't the first time I had made a mess after drinking, it however was the first time my son had been a witness...And because of that my next thought was there is no way in hell that having an alcoholic for a mother would be my son's childhood memories. NO WAY!!! After 12 years, I was DONE!!
You can only imagine "Being Done" was a lot easier said than done though, but on Monday (1.23.17) it will officially be two years since I've had any alcohol but I must be honest it was the hardest thing I have ever done, but by the grace of God I made it. He was there the entire time, never leaving my side. I've learned how to pray on this journey and how to admit when I was struggling. Throughout this journey I have lost people and it was extremely hurtful to see that a lot of people were just attached to the "Turn Up" in me... But early in the process the Holy Spirit lead me to 1 Peter 4 and when I found myself struggling with the absence of friends and associates I was always reminded of verses 1-5.
The process was tough and I wouldn't change a thing about it... I am proud to be who this process has produced. 2 years down, and forever to go... Theres no turning back...And while I may no longer be a cool kid 😂What I am is Saved, Sober and Sitting Pretty